We are still here

Week 20!

 

 

Just wanted to say that we are still going strong but due to overwhelming sshtuff going on lately, I have not been able to write about it daily like before. Once I am able to get it out, the blog will resume as usual.

No you are

What did I learn this week? Well, I learned that it's hard to help people feel better when you don't know what is wrong. For the last few weeks I have been having some health issues that I am not too sure what it's about. I feel tired, achy, joints hurt, easily irritable….and I can't seem to shake it. Because of this blog I am fully aware that it is not that my wonderful "Aunt Flo" will be visiting and these symptoms seem to be out of context for me as a person. Could it be because I am having sex all the time? I sure hope not. So anyway, I feel like crap, and my husband feels like crap because he has been having some problems with confidence at work. I really would like to make him realize that he really is the best thing since sliced bread but it appears to go in one ear and out the other. I know being the man and the "bread winner" has a lot to do with it but when you are down like that you have to realize the riches that are right in front of you, that love you.

Week 19

Day 120
Today I had an awesome day of shopping and tea with my girls and my mom and sister. In a noted haunted hotel, cute little fancy tea cups and little dresses with scones and crumpets, so fun! My daughters were so well mannered too and it was funny to hear my youngest daughter say, when I had to take her to the bathroom "I hope we don't see any ghosts in here!" LOL We had some serous retail therapy and when I came home, my wonderful hubby had a bouquet of fun field flowers and cards. That night was so fun because I had such a wonderful day and my senses were feeling good, my body felt tired but rejuvenated and the sex was amazing as ever but that much more meaningful.

Day 121
Mother's day and it turned out to be so beautiful! Warm and sunny so we thought that a BBQ was on the menu for dinner. My parents came over to hang out and we had another great time! We also brought the kids out for ice cream later. Speaking of ice cream, we had to bring out the fun "hot fudge" later on in the bedroom for some fun.

Day 122
Exhausted! My head hurts, my joints hurt, and body aches… this is ridiculous, everyday this happens! What is wrong with me?! This morning I literally just laid in bed and had my hubby climb on top of me to "get it on"…how pathetic. I need to see a doctor.

Day 123
What is it with this cat? He should know by know what is going on and to go away or move out of the way. So we are in bed and in comes the cat, Ziggy meowing for a spot, he climbs on the bed and proceeds to plop himself on top of my head while my husband is, ahem….down south…. What the hell cat? Talk about territorial! And then when I went to move him, I swore that I heard him growl a little. My husband looks up and tells the cat, "get your own pu**y! Beat it cat!" and with that, Ziggy got off the bed. There was a look of defeat and a tinge of sadness in his eyes. Lmao!

Day 124
The night began well and we found ourselves in the throes of passion (ha ha! Just to dramatize it a bit) and as I was moving on top of him, I somehow lost my footing with my knee off the side of the bed and managed to slightly fall to the side, where the dresser is nearby hitting my head in the process before falling on the ground. With slight concussion, I'm sure; I chuckled and realized that I am such a klutz! I got back on the bed and resumed and it lasted much longer because I was thinking about what just happened. It has been some time since I have injured myself and I found this comical. My man, on the other hand was a bit annoyed and I am sure that it was just because I had thrown off the whole "passionate experience" with my laughing. But, in life you have to laugh at yourself once in a while, right?

Day 125
I really don't know how to boost my sweetie's confidence lately. I really wish that there was some way, and in a sense I think that our intimacy may be lacking a little. Sure, it's here but we need something that will give us both a boost. I dunno, maybe there is something that I don't say or maybe it's just that we need a flipping vacation in a remote place with hot sweaty sex! Oh, but that would cost money…Its funny that even though you have sex every day, you have beautiful kids, nice house, everything except money this month and it all goes to shit? LOL Well, the only way that I know that may help is just to continue on with having "fun" everyday and hope things fall into place.

Day 126
Damn its hot and humid outside! I woke up all tacky from the window being open but what was good was that ALL of the kids slept in late so we were able to pretend that we were on a hot and humid vacation, just for a little while.

A river runs through it

Memories are nice to look back on once in a while to see why we are who we are today. They teach us our faults and lessons learned; they have a place where no one else can go to see your hurt and at the same time give you a safe feeling when you are feeling unsure. I sometimes try to remember the places where I have been to get back in touch with my former self, a more active and vibrant self, the person who I would like to be more like again.

Week 18


Day 113

 What a beautiful day to get the kids out and get some weeds out of the garden and getting ready to plant some seeds soon. We planted some raspberry bushes and blueberry bushes so we hope this will be good for us this year! The kids sure were excited. We all got completely down and dirty and played with everything, soccer, sand, chalk, bubbles, swings, mud and water and all the feelings of child hood came rushing back to me. I felt like a kid again and the kids marveled at how my attitude changed from being a "no, don't do that" mom to, "Ok, go ahead...dirt never hurt anyone" type. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately realizing that feeling down is just because I constantly nag myself to be an over achiever and in reality there never is enough time to do everything that I want putting pressure on myself. So to let go of my image, the way my house looks, the A+++ and everything else I expect of myself and my kids are unrealistic. I was able to have fun and did not care for a moment whatsoever. This of course may change as things DO need to get done LOL! I cared less SO much that I even decided to take a shower with my guy without even flinching at the fact that we would be naked, in the same place with the lights ON and he would more than likely see my large behind in all its glory! Ha ha! I hoped that he wouldn't go blind because that shit is like staring at the sun. He of course, did not go blind and it was a liberating experience.

Day 114
Today is the day that we all have time to hang out and catch up on chores or to fix what is broken in the house. This time, there was a leak in our basement that needed to be fixed. Swear it's like one thing after another. An addition to the basement drama my daughter is having a school mate spend the night so this should be really interesting. One thing that I cannot stand is being intimate when my kids are around or other kids are here. I just feel like it needs to be when we have absolute privacy but with kids there is seldom a quiet let alone, private moment. We figure that the best thing to do is to get out our needs in the early morning before all of the chaos erupts.

Day 115
Working on new ways to be experimental (in the modest of senses) in the bedroom have got me a little bored. I have books and read articles on what you should try. A lot of the stuff that I read I find myself laughing out loud thinking "yeah, right…that would go over well" or "that would NEVER happen". I don't think that I would ever want to be karate chopped in the throat after giving head so that I could say that I have been "walrus'd". That is not loving or fun to anyone but an immature guy playing with his girlfriend who he will eventually hump and dump. No, having semen trickle out of the corners of your mouth would not be a memory that I would want my husband to have of the mother of his children. Anyway, tonight I was on top and it was good but it was familiar and safe. I need some more practical ideas that others have tried that are nice, romantic and can get us both off. Any suggestions? Comment anonymously if you have tried something that bears repeating.

Day 116
All of the kids fell asleep at 7 o'clock!!! OH MY goodness what shall a woman with some peace do? Pour me some wine and watch what I want to watch on the T.V and wait for my husband to come home so I can attack him! That's what I will do! With that, by the time my husband comes home I am somewhat tired because of the wine and slightly less willing than before. However, I do feel a little more attractive as many women may feel when they have a nice buzz. Some women look in the mirror and think to themselves "damn I look good" with smudged makeup, out of place hair and all (meanwhile you really look like a half-eyed, ugly, desperate hag). I follow him into the bedroom and before he can take off his wet hockey shirt I assert myself to let him know that I want something by grabbing his package. What man on god's green earth would turn that gesture down? So we get that out of the way and lay down like a kitten that had too much milk. Content.

Day 117
Had a little frazzled day because I couldn't be with my one daughter on a field trip and at the same time forgot all about a different field trip all together! Later, the dude came home and we hung out with the kids for a while before they went off to sleep. We watched hockey and yelled at the TV, it was fun! Later we were talking about how he (my husband) had a dream the other night about "getting me from the other way". I immediately explained to him that would never happen in his lifetime as long as he is with me. I tried it a long time ago and I would never even attempt it with him due to his…well, his size. He then informed me that it WOULD happen and that 70% of women say that they like it. Well, I explained right back to him that I happen to be in the 3% of women that would rather poke hot needles into my eyes than get it through the back door. No way, never…NO HOW! When it was time for some action, I could see the line of mischief in his eyes and diffused it quickly with just going below his belt for my secret weapon (lollipop). He didn't bring up the back door again that night.

Day 118
Today I took the kids to the nature center to see all kinds of wild life. Painted turtles, bull frogs, red winged black birds and some cool crane looking bird that kept dive bombing the pond catching fish were serious highlights. Remembering back into my relationship with my husband, I thought of the fun times we had camping and the one time we threw my friend out of the tent so we could get busy one time! Ha! Good times good times. There was a time we found ourselves on a nature trail in the middle of a forest having to jump over small rivers and finally getting blocked. Looking at an enormous tree that had fallen over the path, we had to climb it and jump over to reach the other side. Once we got to the other side we were reminded how alone we were at that point and since the huge tree reminded me of something else that was huge, we snatched up the chance to be "one with nature" and let me tell ya, a log is one interesting thing to be bent over while you are being banged. There was moss, wood pecker holes and all sorts of interesting things to look at. I wonder what his thoughts were..."Oh shit, I hope nobody sees us. Damn this feels good…what the heck is that brushing up on my calve?" Since this day was pretty warm, when my hunny came home I suggested that we get in touch with our nature side and relax outside for a bit at night. So we did and being bent over patio furniture at night is not as interesting as being bent over a log in the day time in the middle of the woods.

Day 119
Friday!!! This better be a good day. With the way that this morning and most Fridays start out, I can at least say that ½ the day is good.