Yippy Oh-KY

Apparently this week I have a boost in my IgA levels. Now that can either mean that I am part of the Independent Grocers Alliance or I have more antibodies of Immunoglobulin A in my system, I will take the latter. In my initial post I may have said that having sex often can trigger a series of health benefits one being the boost in immunity. I have seen benefits this week as all of my children have acquired some sort of plague. Insert jingle à(Nausea ^VOMIT^ –heartburn- indigestion –upset stomach –Diarrhea *make sure you hold on to your butt when you sing that part)). In all of the pleasantries of the week I am astonished to say that I did not get sick! I know you all could care less but my point is that there could really be something there to the benefits of sex. I admit that this could all be total coincidental and that I could be just the lucky one this week.


Week 3


Day 15
We start our week right- Tickets to Kid Rock at Ford Field and knowing that some crazy shenanigans will come out of the night. We begin the night at Hockey town and drink draft beer on the 3^rd floor packed in like sardines. Being bumped repeatedly by some random guy dancing was comical entertainment to past the time before we had to go. But before we actually made it into the stadium we went to another party, somewhat of a garage hang out with standing heaters and port-a-potties. I thought that I caught another good buzz here but it could have been the carbon monoxide. From here the electricity of the night was awesome and we enjoyed dancing and singing until the last song.
I know I know…that was a pretty boring entry/night all together huh? I would love to tell you that we found some little alley way somewhere and went to town but no, it didn't happen. It was like 13 degrees and OTHERS around. How would you like to be mugged while doing it? I wouldn't.
Any way….we get home and "get it on" before both of us pass out at 4 am. At least we didn't forget.

Day 16
No heat….Wonderful. This shit always happens on the weekend when you cannot get the "Bryant" part at your heating and cooling place. We ate dinner in our hats and gloves and laughed when every time someone said something, someone would go "what?" since we all had our ears covered. Since we didn't want our little ones to be popsicles in the morning, we went to the store – to warm the F' up…sheesh – and bought a room heater so we would be warm. We also stumbled upon something fun at the store to try; 'Yours and Mine' KY personal lubricant….. "hey look hun, yippy-oh KY!!!", I say. "'We should totally try this!!! Did you ever see that commercial where those people are in bed and then this…and then the fireworks?!" I wonder if there will really be fireworks. I am down for a little fire. He gave me this look as to say, "Seriously? I am freezing my nuts off at home and you're worried about if the shit really gives out sparks????''…"Well I am buying it", I say and toss it into the basket. My daughter was like "ooooh pretty bottles"….'HEY! put that down kid, you will go blind or…somethin'
Later on, we forgot all about the lube and went straight to keeping warm like a homeless person in February. Since our kids had to sleep with us, we capitalized on our time and found ourselves in the coldest bathroom in the world. Amazingly, it was over quick.


Day 17
I lost 5 lbs!!!!! YESH!!! Happy dance. I know it's just water weight coming off from my last weeks (that bitch) but still, nice to see the scale go in that direction for a change. Anyway, now that the heater was fixed and the house was warm again the night was much better. Once the kids went to bed (DUH!) we went down stairs and lit some candles, laid a blanket (omg, I just typed blankey –total MOM moment) and had our little vials waiting for us. We wanted it to be completely sensual…just like in the commercials! Ha! Anyway – I lay on the blanket and he took the vial. I thought that he was going to put it where it is supposed to go, instead he emptied almost the whole tube into his hand and proceeded to rub PERSONAL LUBRICANT all over my chest and stomach….Uh, I don't know about you but that stuff is NOT supposed to go there. I had my whole belly button filled with the stuff. Then I started to feel kind of funny. OH crap, my whole body had a tingly sensation all over it; especially my belly button and then I touched my eye.
"OH MY GOD I just touched my eye. I am going to go blind! I just got done telling my kid that and now look at me!" I just couldn't take it anymore and started hysterically laughing all the while my hunny is looking at me in this cute innocent face like, "I didn't know where?!!?" After I wiped the majority of the $27 love potion/assailant deterrent off of me and my eye stopped burning, I taught him where it was supposed to go. It was nice, but no explosions or anything like that. Thank god.

Day 18
Today is the day that I was vomited on repeatedly by my son. Followed by diaper change after diaper change…..poor little guy. The plague, aka. Stomach flu touched down at our household. I felt so bad for the little guy and a strict B.R.A.T diet was started. He seemed to feel better as the day went on so I felt more confident as I laid him in bed at night. When my honey pants came home that night, I was anxious, once again…. (Does that surprise you?) to get this over and done with.

Day 19
I straddled him, he loved it and I felt like pervert of the year for the dirty things that I told him that night. I am finding myself getting better and better at this as the weeks go on. He totally loves it too!

Day 20
Is it wrong of me to say that when I don't get to have "one" I feel a little short changed? I know it's harder for women to get it but it would be nice every time, right? Don't get me wrong, it was amazing anyway. I should have used the KY, I actually needed those fireworks this time.

Day 21
Nothing like morning head to start his/your day. Awww yeah!


Week three motha f***a, POW!




Whether or not I am getting good things out of this is still yet to be determined. I will say that this week it has been a slightly hectic one and to be honest, we didn't talk much. We were both tired and both clutched at straws in order to just relax. I am certain, however, that even though we were tired the nookie gave us better sleep.