Week 13
I have been asked a few times this week whether or not I have lost weight, improved stress, etc… And the answer on the stress is; some days. When it comes to my complexion, not really because I have not had time to drink enough water and put on enough lotion and not to mention but sex alone will not do that. Weight loss? Yeah, like 5 lbs and that was not due to sex, it is due to a need and want to lose it in the first place. You would have to have sex for at least 3-12 hours a day in order to lose weight from it. The real weight loss is a mind game because when you have sex frequently with your partner you release all kinds of good feeling chemicals into your brain. You may get that whole "in love" feeling again and I don't know about you folks but when I am in love or just plain happy, I do not eat a lot. So what it comes down to is that having sex everyday may not be a way to lose weight and it isn't the only source of improvement in your life but it can lead to a happier, healthier life.
Day 78
I am going on a date with my hunny tonight! I am so excited to be able to go on an actual date and then we are going to meet up with some friends! So I have to make sure that everything is in order: toes painted; check, Fake eyelashes on; check, Hair all did; check, Body girdle; chhhheeeckk, Oh maybe not. I look more like a stuffed sausage than hourglass in this contraption. Now I have to take this thing off with OUT getting a broken finger or dislocated hip for all that matter. Its better off of me because I was just thinking how in the world would that be if we came home, started ripping each other's clothes off and then it takes hours to try to get this thing off. I wouldn't want him seeing me wearing one of these things anyway; he loves me, fat tummy and all. After all, he helped make this fat tummy with all the kids he MADE me have (just kidding). So later on, we have a wonderful dinner and went out and got a little tipsy, saw a celebrity, I gave some road head, he got some road head and made it home and commenced to ripping each other's clothes off and that is about all I remember.
Day 79
This morning I went to move the car and there were two round prints on the window of the passenger side window of my husband's car. This has happened before so I know exactly what had happened last night. I walk in and ask my husband when the "incident" had occurred and he turns and asks me, "what do you mean, you don't remember that?" I reply, "no, of course not". "Well", he starts " we turned passed Gratiot and you decided to go all Frank the Tank on me like you used to and flashed a car full of drunk guys your boobs" LMAO Lord have mercy. See what happens when I drink? It's like that old school movie all over again. I hate to admit this but I was frank the tank before that movie even came out. Streaking? Yeah, I think Will Farrell got in my head or something. *SHAKES head*. There are too many friends and random people that have seen me streak by them in my life. Well since it was Sunday, and the house is a buzzing with the sounds of kids playing and some boring stuff on T.V. we again, sneak off into the bedroom when the kids are not around and have a little fun.
Day 80
So my order has not arrived from the party last week and that's fine, I am a patient woman. I can wait long periods and it's ok because I have this here catalog and I can just flip through the ol' thing and have a look see at what I will be getting and get all excited! I am o-kay, yep yep yep…ok. Sheesh, this is tough waiting because I am getting all nervous thinking about what am I going to do when national ass slapping day rolls around and I don't have my whip. I think what I will do is get a bunch of big rubber bands and cut them, then take that long stick thingy that my cat plays with and somehow attach the rubber bands onto the end of it and VIOLA! A homemade whip! Too bad the damn thing keeps falling apart. *sad face* You know what, that's fiiinnee I am beat from playing with the kids all day anyway, I will just have some good old fashioned whoopee without any fancy stuff tonight.
(*walking away*…smack smack smack….clunk…."damn thing broke!!")
Day 81
So I took my kids to java jungle with a friend and her kiddo and it was so fun. I basically had to go in and play with my son since he is still a little young for this stuff and man was it a work out! I was sweating like a bulimic at an all you can eat buffet within the first 10 minutes of playing. The other day it was chuck e cheese and now this, this could be my new workout routine and the kids would have a blast too! The only problem is that when I come home there is a ton of crap to do. I really wish some things would just do itself in this house. HE HE…Yes, do its self. I once knew a couple that had a "do it yourself night" where they would apparently pleasure themselves in the same room. Uh, I don't know about you but this would not work with me. I would be like "oh, just get up here and do me already!" So tonight is a just "get the hell over with it night" for us since I have lack of muscle strength.
Day 82
Yay it's here it's here! My whip is here!!!! Yay…. Now, what am I going to do with it? You all think I am kidding but I am serious, I don't see myself using this lots and I really just WANTED it to have it. Now that I actually have it reality is setting in and I am thinking what the first step is to actually using this thing. Do I say,"hey…come here…SMACK SMACK" to him or do I wait until he is all undressed and then start beating the shit out of him? Really, the possibilities are endless but none of them seem to be the right way to approach it. Maybe I should just tell him that it came in the mail and let him figure out when to use it. Damn, I knew should have bought the bondage kit (ha ha). Really, this isn't going to work out tonight because the "aunt flo" is back and it's so not fair. She seriously sneaks up on me and in the last few months it feels like I am on it like every 2 weeks. *sigh* oh well, at least I will be primed for when our anniversary weekend comes up in a few weeks. Till then, I have some edible lube and some lollipops to lick.
Day 83
I feel like I got the crap beat out of me. Why can't men go through this at least once in their lives? I have a whole house full of stuff to catch up on and the kids have not been sleeping right. No, I take that back, they have been sleeping right…right on top of me! In the middle of the night my son wakes up and my husband puts him in our bed and now lately my oldest daughter decided that she has to sleep with us too and stealth's into our room in the middle of the night and usually plants herself next to me or on top of me. Meanwhile, the other one is already on my head. This has got to stop! Crazy kids! Besides, I really miss that 2am wake-up and half sleep quicky. Speaking of quickies, tonight's adventure was over with quite quickly. Huh, lucky me.
Day 84
I dreamt I was on an ice louge and woke up with a bunch of white stuff in my mouth. And NO, it wasn't snow. (fyi…the kids were already up in the living room when this all occurred)
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